And its not because I went for San Jose hair transplants. For the last departmental picnic, management decided that due to liability issues, we could have drinks, but only one (1) drink per person. I was fired for ordering the cups.
See the picture below.
A husband and a wife are like a liver and a kidney. The husband is a liver and the wife is a kidney.
If the liver fails, the kidney also fails. If the kidney fails, the liver manages with other kidney.
Diet misconceptions? 
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a lamb eat? Leaves and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a kebab is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken.
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO…..cocoa beans, another vegetable! It’s the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
The income tax officer decides to audit businessman Kewalramani, and summons him to the income tax office.
The officer is not surprised when Kewalramani shows up with his attorney, Jamshedji.
The officer says, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you won money gambling. I’m not sure the income tax finds that believable.”
“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Kewalramani. “How about a demonstration? ”
The officer thinks for a moment and said, “Okay. Go ahead.”
Kewalramani says, “I’ll bet you ten thousand rupees that I can bite my own eye.”
The officer thinks a moment and says, “No way! It’s a bet.”
Kewalramani removes his glass eye and bites it.
The officer’s jaw drops.
Kewalramani says, “Now, I’ll bet you twenty thousand rupees that I can bite my other eye.”
The officer can tell Kewalramani isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Kewalramani removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned officer now realizes he has wagered and lost thirty thousand rupees, with Jamshedji as a witness.
But either she needs glasses, or the guy had a faulty d***k and forced her to resort to this….
